Patience

I feel the need to write once again and give an update on my life and thoughts. Another semester started today at BYU-Idaho and I find myself so jealous of all those starting school again. What I wouldn't give to be busy again, to have a schedule and daily routine that I can slip into. I came home last night and cried just thinking about it. My friends whom I have been spending time with will once again have obligations and responsibilities to attend to. I find myself too often thinking that life is just not fair. All around me I hear about people finding jobs, and here I am after four months still without one. It makes me wonder what I am doing wrong. These past few months have been very difficult for me and I have become bitter because I am not getting what I want. Then I look back and realize that all my thoughts are about me me me.
I read an amazing talk today called "Continue in Patience" by President Uchtdorf of the First Presidency of the Church and found so much comfort in it. Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

"Patience—the ability to put our desires on hold for a time—is a precious and rare virtue. [ . . .] the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter. Nevertheless, without patience, [ . . .] we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace.

"As parents, we know how unwise it would be to indulge our children’s every desire. But children are not the only ones who spoil when showered with immediate gratification. Our Heavenly Father knows what good parents come to understand over time: if children are ever going to mature and reach their potential, they must learn to wait.

"I learned that patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort. [ . . .] Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!

"Impatience, on the other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed. It arises from the all-too-prevalent condition called “center of the universe” syndrome, which leads people to believe that the world revolves around them and that all others are just supporting cast in the grand theater of mortality in which only they have the starring role.

"Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness.

"Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls. Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most."

I love this talk, and as you can see, my favorite "excerpts" consist of about half of it. :)

I know that as I exercise patience, I will be blessed. There must be something that I need to learn right now, and experiences that I can gain that will help me later in life. Because of this period of time I will be able to more fully appreciate the blessing of work when it does come. I will be able to look back on this time in my life and see the Lord's hand in it. With the help of my mom, I have realized that right now I need to focus on the blessings that I do have, and all the things I have to be grateful for. If we are grateful for what we have now, we will be blessed with more. The Lord knows what's best for me and I trust that everything will work out. To quote a movie, "Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself."

P.S. The weather has been absolutely beautiful since my last blog post and I am grateful for that.