I just love a good cry

Home alone on a Saturday evening, and what did I do? I watched what is now decidedly my favorite movie of all time - "It's a Wonderful Life." (See my blog entry last May.) I again cried like a baby throughout the whole end of the movie. I couldn't help myself. Usually when I cry during movies it only happens the first time. After that, I know what's going to happen and it doesn't have the same effect on me. This movie got me again though. I wonder if I'll cry every time I watch it? After spending a good fifteen minutes with tears streaming down my face, I was put in a sentimental and reminiscent mood. So, after returning the movie to the library I decided to take a drive around the campus of BYU-Idaho, just for old time's sake. I continued to cry during the whole drive while seeing places and remembering specific events and people. I think that it was, in a way, therapeutic for me. Here are some of the things I thought about:

• attending special and sacred meetings in the Hart
  
• sleeping over at Davenport with Bekah
• Royal Crest 113 - I even drove through the parking lot. It seems like eons ago when I lived there and experienced so much growth.
• playing on an ultimate frisbee team "We Believe!"
• watching soccer games
• getting sent home by a cop because I was sitting in a car with a boy up in the Stake Center parking lot late at night (I don't think I've ever shared that with anyone, I was simply mortified!)
• attending the Rexburg Temple open house
  
• Kensington 102 - all two years' worth of memories
• Sam's trampoline
• washing cars with Mandy
• attending my first college dance out on the playing fields with mustard-breath because I had just eaten a turkey sandwich (A guy offered me a piece of gum and I took the hint . . . and the gum.)
  

Who is that 18-year-old girl who started college here 4+ years ago anyway? So much has changed since then and I have experienced so much growth I can't even begin to write about it all. During my drive I also thought about people whom I have hurt along the way. If they are reading this I would like to once again apologize, you know who you are. I can only hope that overall I have done more good than damage. I wish to tell my friends of my love for them. As the angel Clarence said in the movie, "Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends." I may at the moment be penniless, unemployed, and nowhere near my deepest dream and desire of becoming a wife and mother, but I have friends and a bright hope for the future. I know that good things are coming, I just know it!

Winter Wonderland

For the past few mornings in Rexburg we have been waking up to an exquisite, white, wintry frost. It is absolutely beautiful. Every branch and twig of every tree in town has been carefully covered as if painted by the hand of God Himself. In addition to the frost, there has been an unusual fog that has settled in which adds to its mysterious beauty. It is days like these that make the long winters here bearable.



I decided to go out and enjoy the beauty by going for a walk and taking pictures. I put on my coat, boots, hat, and gloves and headed out into the balmy 20-degree weather. I decided to take our puppy, Sydney, along with me. I hadn't yet made it out of the driveway before I had already slipped and fallen on a sheet of black ice. But I didn't let that small fall (my first of this winter season) discourage me from continuing on.



I don't claim to be a photographer in any way, and my lack of skill was only exacerbated by the fact that I was taking pictures with the same hand which was holding the leash attached to a very jumpy little puppy. I think I'm lucky they turned out as well as they did. I also tried to take a picture of me and Sydney together, but you can imagine how well that went as she was squirming and licking both my face and the camera.

Post Grad Life

While there are many students out there who would love to be in my position right now, I can't quite understand why. As a college student, it never appealed to me to finish school and cease being a student. Alas, I had to face the inevitable and graduate. I have been a student practically my whole life and I am now at a loss of what to do with myself while looking for a job. My days run together and it is hard to distinguish one from another. The word "weekend" has lost its meaning because every day feels like the weekend to me. I spend my days reading, playing the piano, looking online for jobs, and chatting with friends. My mom has dubbed me the official dinner-maker in the house until I find a job. While everyone is out at work and school I sit at home with only the companionship of our new puppy Sydney (yes, we got a puppy!) and the laptop which provides me with connections to the outside world via various media such as Facebook, Skype, and Google Talk.
I had to laugh out loud the other day as I was reading my book about Madame Curie because she so perfectly described the way that I am feeling right now. Here is what she had to say in a letter to a friend shortly after completing her schooling:

"I don't do a thing, positively not a thing [ . . .] I have no schedule. I get up sometimes at ten o'clock, and sometimes at four or five (morning, not evening!). I read no serious books, only harmlesss and absurd little novels . . . . Thus, in spite of the diploma conferring on me the dignity and maturity of a person who has finished her studies, I feel incredibly stupid."

I love it! And I figure, if she could go on to become the most brilliant woman scientist ever and win the Nobel Prize - twice, maybe I will be ok too. I just hope that I find a job soon. I feel that I am wasting away and there will soon be nothing left of me.

My Thinking Spot

So remember a long time ago (gosh, it must have been the beginning of September) when I said that I would post pictures of the marina? Well, at long last here they are. You now get to see one of my favorite places in the world. . .

This bike path runs along the west side of the San Francisco Bay. You can just hop on your bike and ride for miles and miles. It is so beautiful there, especially in the springtime when all the flowers are in bloom. My personal favorites are the bright orange California poppies.

This is the perfect place to go when you need a place to think. I like to take a good book with me and stop at one of the park benches along the way to read.

Most times when I have ridden down this path I have gone with my Aunt Josiane. We have had some good talks along the marina about life, future plans, careers, and family.

If only I lived closer . . .

2009 Recap

Disneyland.learned how to play the organ.
Britton.Wackee Six.internship.graduation.wallyball.
AFAA Group Exercise Certification.Washington, D.C.
first time kayaking.dancing.holidays.West Wing Tour.
got my passport.temple trips.biking at the marina.Skype.
walk around the Tidal Basin.pie.Zumba.
4th of July.seven Utah trips.David.quoting movies with Hannah.
lots of banana bread.potlucks.riding the metro.Amber.
dance parties.depleted my bank account.lots of laughter.
baby Eli.missionaries.staying at Marisa's house.homemade cards.
new kitties.General Conference.heartbreak.
22nd birthday.sleep-overs with Bekah.beach boardwalk.weddings.
made new friends.testimony growth.love.

Utah, Friends, and the Job Hunt

I've just returned from a week-long trip to Utah so I wanted to write and share my experiences and pictures with you. There were two main reasons for my going to Utah: my Number 1 reason was to visit friends, and Number 2 was to look for a job. I figured that Utah would be a good place to look since it has more jobs and more people than Idaho, plus it's away from home but not too far so that I could still go home and visit on the weekends if I want. I'll admit that I spent a lot more time with friends than I did job hunting . . .

Thursday night, we headed up to an institute party at the University of Utah. There were so many people there! Here we are ringing in the new year to Miley Cyrus's "Party In The U.S.A." and "moving our hips like yeah."



Here I am with Bekah. This girl has been such a huge influence in my life. She really has helped me become the person that I am today. I appreciate her friendship and example so much. I am also extremely grateful for her family who fed me and allowed me to stay for so long.


I also owe a lot to this girl. Bethany and I have been friends since I can't remember when, and I know that we always will be. One of my favorite things to do with her is just sit and talk. It seems like we never grow tired of it or run out of things to say. Since she recently returned from a mission in Texas, we definitely had a lot to catch up on! Thank you Bethany for letting me stay with you and for giving up your bed! (I still feel bad about it, I don't care what you say.)


One surprise bonus to my trip was getting to see Sarah Huzzey! Sarah was my roommate when I first started college. We have so many fond memories together. She also recently returned from a mission (to Argentina) and I was so happy to get to see her and catch up! I love this girl so much! She just makes me smile.
I love those friends you have that no matter how long it's been since you've talked, when you do it's like no time has passed at all. You just pick up where you left off and you still love each other just as much. That's how I feel about Sarah and Bethany.

I can't make a trip down to Utah without seeing some of my fellow D.C. intern friends. We had a few reunions this time because so many of us were in town for the holidays. As always, it was so good to see all of them. This picture is of most of the gang (give or take a few).

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I don't know what I would have done without them. They truly made my experience in D.C. the best and I have memories with them that I will always cherish. I love the fact that we still keep in touch and make an effort to do things together when possible. It's not just like we were friends in D.C. when we didn't know anyone else and then we forgot about each other once we go back to our normal lives. Nope, we are friends for life! Especially David. He became my best friend in D.C. After all the ups and downs we've been through together, we are still good friends and I owe so much to him. He has taught me a lot. I just wish that we lived closer together so that we could see each other more often.



As for the job search, it wasn't quite as successful as I would have liked. I have already received a few disappointing emails, but I am still hopeful. One company would like to set up a phone interview with me! The catch is that they are not located in Utah . . . try New York and Pittsburgh! I don't know how I would feel about moving that far away. I guess we'll have to see how the phone interviews go. Who knows, maybe that's where I am supposed to be.

Read A Book

If there's one thing I have on my hands now, it's time. And one of my favorite leisurely activities to pass away the time is reading. I love to read and learn new things! There is nothing better than curling up in a big, comfy chair with a good book (and maybe a snack or a glass of water). I get lost in the stories and plots and characters, and forget all about my own troubles, if only for a few hours.

Here is what currently composes the large stack of books I have on my nightstand (which seems to have grown rapidly since my graduation):

• A complete compilation of the novels by Jane Austen
• Two books by Michael Crichton (suspenseful/action-thriller/sci-fi/best-sellers)
• A biography of Madam Marie Curie (brilliant and revolutionary woman scientist)
• The End of the Beginning - a children's book and graduation gift from Britton
• The Prayer of Jabez - this one I received as a stocking-stuffer and have yet to read
• And then of course there are my scriptures and my journal
• Not to forget the Texas Instruments TI-89 instructions manual - sounds like a good read, I know, but really it is out so that I don't forget to give it to my friend Hannah who is the new owner of my TI-89 calculator
  

Quite a large and well-rounded stack of books if you ask me!

Ahhh, books. Few things in this world make me happier. I was really having quite a lousy day today until I went to the public library. It cheered me right up! I saw a bag there that said "So many books and so little time." So true. Sometimes when I am in libraries or bookstores, I imagine all the time in Heaven that I will finally have to read all these books . . . among other things. (I also have this fantasy of learning how to do things I never learned in this life, like becoming an amazing ice skater or gymnast or cabaret dancer.) Maybe someday. I hope that's not blasphemous.

Well . . . . Happy reading!